


Paracosm

by msbluesunflower



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-24 05:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14948271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msbluesunflower/pseuds/msbluesunflower
Summary: “Thor — ” He gasps, disbelieving. “How long has it been since we left Asgard?"“Three weeks today. Are you all right, brother?”Oh gods, Loki realizes in utter horror — today is the day they are supposed to run into Thanos.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Translation into 中文 by myself: [ 虚妄之境](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14956073)

_“Thor, are you sure?”_

_The sphere of lightning closes in around the dark red liquid trapped within and, with a loud bang, implodes into a million pieces of blinding light. When the last sparks of electricity fizzle out and dissipate, the Aether has solidified and revealed its true form — the Reality Stone floats in midair, giving off an eerie, menacing crimson glow._

_Thor glances back at Rocket, who still has a look of concern and caution on his face, pointing his rifle at the Stone despite knowing full well the futility of it._

_He tightens his grip on Stormbreaker and reaches out his other hand slowly, expecting resistance as the tips of his fingers part the red glow and inch closer to the gem, yet is surprised to find none._

_No, of course he’s not sure, but what’s the worst that could happen?_

_He closes his fist around the Stone, and the world drops dead._

 

“You seem troubled of late, Loki.” Frigga puts her teacup back in the saucer and eyes him quizzically. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, mother.” He tries to smile reassuringly. “Just having difficulty sleeping, is all.”

“You worry about him. You miss him.” But she sees right through it, _of course_.

Loki purses his lips but doesn’t deny it. They’re sitting in Frigga’s garden, where it’s always spring and where thousands of roses are always in bloom, their intoxicating fragrance spreading all throughout the halls of Valhalla. The sky has been clear and the sun warm ever since Loki got here, and while the passage of time is hard to track, he thinks it’s been about a year’s time since he arrived, which makes him wonder if it ever rains at all around here. He glances down at his teacup, at the shape the tea leaves have formed at the bottom — It seems to resemble a bolt of lightning.

“Heimdall says Thor mourns still, for me,” Loki says, a little abruptly and sounding not as apathetic as he would’ve liked. “He had told me once that he mourned and cried for me those two times before, but I thought he merely — I never thought it possible.”

“Oh, Loki.” Frigga reaches out a hand to cover his, her touch gentle and warm as it’s always been. “Your brother has always loved you best, and everyone seems to know that except you.”

“And the only way I could be convinced of it was by making him suffer.”

“You saved his life.”

“No, mother, it wasn’t so simply sacrificial as that.” He laughs bitterly at the truth he’s kept from everyone else, truth that’s been eating away at him inside. _How ironic._ “I weighed my options and gambled for this — a chance to be recognized, to sit here with you again, but also to be remembered by him for millennia to come, and to perhaps see him again in time. My reasons were more selfish than noble, but here I am. The Trickster tricked his way into Valhalla.”

 “Who says the two must not coexist? You give yourself too little credit.” Somehow, Frigga doesn’t appear surprised at all. She just shakes her head, pouring him some more tea. “Don’t overthink it, my son. You love Thor, so you gave him your life. It’s as simple as that. The rest is for fate to decide. ”

He opens his mouth for some sort of retort, but no words seem to form.

“Here.”

With a flick of her wrist, a small amulet necklace appears in Frigga’s palm. Loki knows of the sigil imprinted at the center of the silver disk — _Vegvísir_ , the wayfinder, and the runes surrounding it is a spell of protection and love. He lowers his head as Frigga leans over to put the chain around his neck.

“It should bring you some peace and help you sleep.”

That night, for the first time since he stepped foot in these halls, he does.

 

 

Loki wakes up to a room completely dark, with no sunlight streaming in between the seams of the drapes, in a bed that’s doesn’t feel like his own but still familiar, somehow. His sleep-addled brain quickly awakens fully due to his growing sense of alarm, and he snaps his fingers for a lighting charm. 

He looks around the now well-lit room and thinks he must still be dreaming.

It’s the room he’d occupied on the _Statesman_. Everything is as he remembers it: the Sakaarian liquor on the shelf, the two books of spells he had bought at a market on Sakaar sitting on the bedside table, a bowl of fresh grapes right next to the books, and his old clothes, in a neat folded pile on a chair. He looks down at himself and realizes he’s wearing the oversized t-shirt Thor had given him that he wore as a sleeping gown back when he was actually on this ship and, you know, _alive_.

_What in the Norns’ name is going on?_

If this is a dream it feels way, way too real. Loki jumps out of bed to open the curtains, and finds himself looking out on space, at bottomless darkness and an endless number of stars. He could hear his own erratic breathing, then the ship-wide wake-up call sounds through the speaker on the wall, startling him out of the racing thoughts in his head.

He changes quickly and all but runs out the door, then almost mindlessly through the halls he knows well and into the common room, where — if any of this is real — breakfast should soon start. He nearly forgets how to breathe when he arrives and catches a glimpse of black armor, firm muscles, and newly shorn golden hair. His brother is by the long tables, helping the cooks set out breakfast food despite them telling him, “Your Majesty,  please, you don’t have to.”

Before Loki knows it he’s walking up behind him and tentatively reaching out a hand, almost too scared to touch him and find out it’s all but an illusion. Yet when he does, he feels under his palm his brother’s warm, solid shoulder that seems capable of bearing the weight of the universe.

“Thor.” He breathes, wide-eyed despite himself. _Allfathers, how could any of this be happening?_

“Loki!” His brother turns around at his voice and touch, pleasantly surprised, “You’re up early. Are you hungry?”

“Thor —” He gasps, disbelieving. “What day — how long has it been since we left Asgard?”

“Something the matter, brother? Are you ill?” Thor frowns at what Loki realizes must be quite a look on his face. His brother then cups a hand protectively over the back of his neck out of habit, and Loki has to try hard not to flinch instinctively at the memory ( _or was it a dream?)_ of the gauntlet-clad hand that wrapped around his neck last.

“No, nothing at all. Just a bad dream, I suppose.” He finally relaxes under Thor’s warm touch, and even manages a tentative smile. “But my question: How long has it been?”

“Three weeks today. Are you sure you’re alright, brother?”

 _Three weeks today. Three weeks, today. Oh gods._ Loki realizes in utter horror, that today is the day they ran into — are supposed to run into — Thanos.

 

He sits at Thor’s side at breakfast, doing his best to hide the panic raging through his mind and twisting in his gut. Thor is sharing some sort of joke with the Hulk now, and Loki picks at his food absentmindedly, his gaze flickering toward the window every once in a while.

The food looks real. The heat radiating off of Thor’s body feels real. Valkyrie’s drunk laughter sounds real. The way the Green Fool slams his fist down at the table occasionally, making it tremble, also seems incredibly real. And the people, some still groggy from sleep and others already stuffing food in their faces in the true Asgardian fashion, appear very real indeed. So does this mean he’s simply had a bizarre nightmare? Was it a warning, a prophetic vision of the future that’s about to unfold? Or did he really die and had gone to Valhalla, only to be sent back into the past, somehow? 

A thought occurs to him suddenly and, closing his eyes, he extends his seidr and looks inside his pocket dimension. Without much difficulty he sees it: The Tesseract, and its aquamarine glow in the dark.

“Is everything all right, my prince?” Heimdall’s voice startles Loki out of his trance and his eyes snap open. “You look troubled.”

“Heimdall, my friend.” The words are out of his mouth before he even realizes what he’s said, and it surprises him just as much as it surprises the Gatekeeper. ‘My friend’ is what he had begun to call Heimdall again in Valhalla — or his dream of Valhalla, because he really isn’t certain of anything anymore.

“Yes?”

“This may seem like an odd question, but have you seen any irregular activity recently on planets near us? Say, Xandar?”

“No, my prince. I’ve just checked again, and all seems well.” Heimdall pauses and eyes him quizzically. “Is there anything, or anyone, you’re looking for in particular?”

“No, just threats of any kind.” He shrugs. _There’s only one._

“There seems to be none at the moment. Rest assured, you and His Majesty will be the first to hear about it if there is indeed any.”

“Of course.” He nods, then lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Thank you.”

 

 

Despite his anxiously glancing out the windows and bracing himself for the arrival of Thanos’ ship, the day passes by like any other they’ve had on this ship. There’s no sign of _Sanctuary II_ , no attack that befalls them, only the surviving members of Asgard busying themselves with planning for the future and staying optimistic, and Loki isn’t quite sure whether he should be relieved or terrified.

As the realness of his surroundings settles in, he slowly begins to believe that he’s simply had a long, vivid, and somewhat ominous nightmare that hasn’t and actually might not at all take place. Yet he spends most of the day close to Thor, attending council meetings that he normally doesn’t care for instead of helping in the medical wing, and even smiles fondly when his brother tells a bunch of children about the Avengers. Scenes from that dream keep flooding back to him in waves, and while he’d never admit it out loud, he much prefers his brother’s stupid grinning face over the one covered in blood and tears, distorted with pain.

“You’ve been rather odd today, brother.” At the end of the arbitrary night they have on the ship, Thor says as they walk back together to their adjoining chambers. “Not that I don’t like you coming to council meetings. You’ve always been much better at diplomacy. It’s just...”

Thor runs a hand through his hair, eyebrows knitting together as he struggles for the right words. Loki reaches out and pats his back gently.

Right, he also can’t seem to stop touching him to make sure he’s real today. It’s becoming a problem.

“It’s just, it’s as if you’re worried that if you blink too much I’d be gone.” Thor manages eventually. “That was a weird way of putting it, wasn’t it?”

“That sounded incredibly stupid.”

“I know.”

“But rather accurate, actually.”

Thor raises a shocked eyebrow. They’ve stopped at his door now, but Thor’s leaning against the door and making no move to go inside.

“Wha —” Thor pauses, the look on his face turning concerned. “Loki, talk to me. What is going on?”

Now, when did his oaf of a brother become so perceptive?

“I  —” Loki sighs. “That nightmare I had. We were attacked. The ship blew up, half of the people died, and —”

“And I did, too?”

“No.” He swallows the lump in his throat. “I did.”

“Oh, Loki.” Thor breathes his name softly, reaching out to take his hand before tugging him into an embrace. And Loki lets him. “Everything will work out fine, I promise.”

 _You don't know that._ He doesn’t say, and instead buries his face in the crook of his brother’s neck. He’d be lying to himself if he says he didn’t miss this — how intimate they used to be.

It’s another long moment before Thor finally pulls back and lets him go. He moves to open his door, before glancing back again and staring curiously at Loki’s neck.

“Haven’t seen that on you before. Have you always had that?”

Loki looks down. His heart stops, and he feels as if his blood has frozen in his veins.

“The sigil — the _Vegvisir_ , right?” Thor reaches out a hand to touch the silver amulet, and Loki's legs are shaking so hard he thinks he might collapse onto the floor. “Is that Asgardian made?”

“Yeah,” he breathes, voice trembling. “You could say that.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Loki lies on his bed and stares blankly at the ceiling, a hand clutching at the amulet Frigga herself had put on his neck.

He _did_ die. His soul had gone to Valhalla. None of that was a dream.

But neither is any of _this_. What is he now, dead or alive? The heart beating wildly in his ribcage seems to indicate the latter. So has he been sent back to the past, back to when he was still alive? Yet this fateful day has passed without an assault from the Mad Titan, and Xandar, where Thanos should’ve massacred a week prior, appears safe and sound according to Heimdall. This is certainly not the version of the past he’d experienced. This, Loki realizes with a start, has to be an alternate reality, just one that appears incredibly similar to his own.

The realization disturbs him so that he becomes almost too afraid to go to sleep, unsure of what might happen if he does. Loki doesn’t know which one is worse: to wake up the next morning back in his own chambers in Valhalla like nothing ever happened, or to stay trapped here, in a world that’s likely not his own, living a life that should no longer be his to live.

He could still feel Thor’s embrace, the warmth of him still lingering on his skin, yet it dawns on him now that if this is in fact an alternate timeline, it wasn’t his own brother who’d hugged and comforted him, not _exactly_.

It makes Loki wonder what his Thor has been doing, in their own universe, whether he and his friends have managed to defeat the Mad Titan and prevent his schemes. Heimdall was always reluctant to disclose to him the details of the living world, constantly reminding him that worrying too much about a world he could no longer interfere with would only do himself harm. And when he inquired after Thor’s wellbeing, all that the Gatekeeper was willing to say was that his brother missed him terribly.

It was what he had wanted, after all, but along with satisfaction came a tremendous agony unlike any he’d ever known. He sees it every time he closes his eyes — Thor’s remaining eye, electric-blue, filled with pain and regret. It kept him up at night. It forced him to admit that he, too, missed Thor terribly.

And now his brother is here again, sleeping soundly in the room next door. But this Thor, who talks like Loki remembers him to talk, who tells stories of adventures Loki remembers going on with him in the millennia they spent by each other’s side, also treats him with gentle kindness and care like he’s never seen, speaks promises of a tomorrow without a shadow of doubt — this Thor is not truly _his_ , though he desperately wants him to be. His Thor he had left behind, alone to face what fate has in store.

It sparks something in him. _Maybe that’s why he’s here._

To make sure it doesn’t happen here.

 

 

“Brother, I have something to tell you.”

It’s the middle of the night when he comes rushing into Thor’s room and wakes him. He had considered waiting till tomorrow morning, but soon decided that he cannot give himself the chance to back out.

“Loki, what’s wrong?” Thor sits up on his bed and turns on his bedside lamp, still groggy and a little confused from sleep. Noticing the slight panic in his voice, however, the look on his face soon turns serious. “Did you have that nightmare again?”

“No, it’s not that.” Loki takes a deep breath, trying to calm his frantic heartbeat. “I’m in possession of the Tesseract.”

Thor blinks, looking momentarily surprised before bursting into a wide, knowing grin.

“Of course.”

 _Oh_. Loki arches an eyebrow.

“Are you not angry with me?”

“What for? I expected nothing less, really.” Thor gets up from his bed and stands face-to-face with him. “Slightly surprised that you decided to tell me, though. In the middle of the night, too.”

“Wait. Are you not going to ask me why I took it?” Loki gapes, incredulous. “What if — What if I have ulterior motives?”

“You hardly would be telling me about it if you had ulterior motives, would you?” Thor looks back at him bemusedly. “But if I had to guess, I’d say you took it because you thought it might be useful to us. Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not —” Loki stops, frowning, “Why do you trust me?”

“Do you not want me to?

“I — That wasn’t my question.”

_This is not how this conversation was supposed to pan out at all._

“Loki.” Thor puts a hand on his shoulder, his smile soft. “Do I worry sometimes that you might soon grow bored and disappear to somewhere I could not find? Yes. But do I think you want to use the Cube to rule another planet, or that you wish to harm the people you risked everything to save? Certainly not.”

“Many would call you mad to trust me so.” He meant it as a retort, yet it comes out no more than a puzzled whisper.

“Perhaps. But I’ve always trusted you with my life, brother, even when you betray me.” Thor’s gaze is unflinching, and his voice determined like he wants to make certain that Loki believes him. “You have to know.”

 _Your Thor didn’t think like this,_ a voice in his head screams, but Loki nods slowly, desperately wanting to believe.

“Now, what made you want to tell me all of a sudden?”

Just saying the name out loud chills him to the bones.

“Thanos.”

 

 

_“Thor, we need to evacuate everyone, right now.” His heart is beating out of his chest, and he all but yells the words at the new king, who still looks puzzled at the threateningly large ship that’s just emerged in front of them. In his mind, Loki calls for the Gatekeeper._

_“Heimdall, we’re in immense danger. Have Valkyrie get everyone into escape pods immediately. You go get Banner, and meet us in the Great Hall in five.”_

_“Loki, what’s going on? Who’s on that ship?”_

_“Thanos.” He gasps out, moving to grab the knives he’d just polished off the table. “He’s collecting the Infinity Stones to wipe out half of the universe.”_

_It takes but a moment for Thor to understand what it meant._

_“You have the Tesseract.” The laugh that follows is sardonic. “And I thought you changed, brother.”_

_“I have, or else I would not be here.”_

_“For once I wish you weren’t.” Thor spits out, harsh and unthinking. And before Loki could even react to the sting of those words, he notices in horror the sparks of electricity going off at the tips of Thor’s fingers and climbing swiftly up the length of his arms. His remaining eye, too, starts flashing white. The air smells of ozone, of an impending storm._

_“Not now, Thor.” He warns, placing a hand on Thor’s cheek, trying to bring him back before he goes full-on Berserker and blows the ship to pieces with lightning. The sizzling electricity stings and burns his skin, but Loki doesn’t let go._

_A few moments later his brother comes back to him, and Loki tumbles back a few steps defensively. Thor glances at the burn marks on his hand, and air of rage surrounding him fades ever so slightly._

_“How do I know you are not in league with this Thanos you speak of?”_

_“When I fell off of the Bifrost, he captured and tortured me before sending me to New York for the Tesseract. I failed. What do you suppose he’d do to me now?” Shock and guilt flash across Thor’s face, and Loki feels a vehement sense of triumph. He chokes out a laugh and thinks he must be truly mad. “I would much rather the Cube had burned with Asgard, but you and I both know that wouldn’t have been enough to destroy it.”_

_“Then swear to me that you would not surrender it to him.”_

_“Oh brother.” Loki sneers and shakes his head, feeling the twinge of disappointment, sharp and painful in his gut. “It’s good to know that even after all this, you still think so little of me.”_

_Thor opens his mouth as if to explain or, gods forbid, apologize, before the sound of explosion startle them both, and the floor underneath their feet begins to shake. He grabs Thor’s hand and pulls him out the door._

_“We’re out of time.”_

 

 

They sat face to face on Thor’s bed as Loki explained his past encounters with the Mad Titan and Thanos’ plan of wiping out half of the universe with the collection of the Infinity Stones. When he’s done, his brother’s face is ashen with a mixture of emotions.

“Is that what haunts you in your dreams? Thanos?” Thor asks quietly. After a moment of hesitation, Loki nods — It’s not exactly the truth now, but it’s the closest he can get.

“Gods, Loki, I should’ve known.” Thor groans in frustration, voice brimming with pain and regret, sounding crushed with guilt. “I failed to protect you, then let you suffer at the hand of that monster for so long. I am truly sorry.”

It’s the last thing Loki had expected — an apology. Possibilities of what his Thor might’ve said had they had the time to talk it out emerge in his head. Squeezing his eyes close, Loki struggles to ignore the devastating pain in his chest, raging at the thought of what might’ve been. Perhaps noticing his rather strange reaction, Thor reaches out to him then, a warm hand cupping his cheek like a silent, tentative question.

“Don’t be an idiot, brother. It wasn’t your fault.” Loki swallows, his body shaking with the urge to lean into the touch. _How he missed him._ “You couldn’t have saved me then.”

“Perhaps, but I could’ve asked you what happened. New York — I knew something didn’t quite line up, but I was blinded by rage and didn’t see.”

“Oh, _please_ , don’t make me sound like some helpless victim.” His protest comes out weak and unconvincing. Averting his eyes, Loki looks down and stares intently at the sheets, feeling exposed and way too vulnerable than he would like to be.

“But —”

“It’s in the past now, brother.” He cuts him off abruptly, hoping for the conversation to end, increasingly terrified of how he might react if Thor continued to shower him with all this sentimentality. But of course, being his brother, no matter in what universe, Thor would not grant him his wish and let him have his peace. With the hand still on his chin, he tilts Loki’s face up toward him and leans in, pressing their foreheads together. Loki stiffens at the sudden closeness — they’re virtually breathing into each other. Warm puffs of air tickle his skin, and he can almost feel the scratch of Thor’s beard.

 “You’re all that I have left, Loki.” After a long moment, Thor says quietly, like a prayer. “And as long as I live and breathe, no one shall harm you without going through me. If this Mad Titan thinks he can make himself a god, he can go ahead and try.”

His heart grows uncontrollably fond at the promise of protection, but it sinks a little, too, at Thor’s naïve optimism. Loki ponders for a second the possibility of leaving alone, taking the Tesseract away from this defenseless ship and its people, away from his brother, to somewhere Thanos could not find. But Thor purses his lips, and the pained, knowing look on his face tells Loki that he already knows what he’s thinking. Sliding his hand back around to the nape of his neck, Thor tightens his grip, as if he might disappear here and now.

“We shall get through this together, brother.” His voice cracks a little at that, and Loki hears clearly the broken plea masked under the determined tone, the request for him to stay. Loki curses himself for surrendering to the irrational sentiments, but nods nonetheless.

At that, the concern on Thor’s face is replaced with a bright grin, and he wraps his arms around him.

“Stay here tonight.”

“What?” Loki starts, bewildered. _Surely he didn’t mean —_

“Remember when you had nightmares when we were kids, you would always sneak into my room? You’ll sleep better.”

“No I won’t.” He feigns a scoff, careful not to show any sign of disappointment at Thor's innocuous intentions. “You — you snore.”

“Well, why don’t you prove me wrong tomorrow morning?” Chuckling quietly, Thor leans back and lets him go, moving to climb under the blankets. Loki can’t help but mourn the sudden loss of warmth around him.

“Fine.” He grumbles, turning off the lights before settling down next to Thor a little awkwardly. He tenses when Thor rolls over and drapes an over his waist, pulling him in closer, but his breathing soon calms and his body relaxes. If he wakes up back in Valhalla the next morning, Loki decides, this isn’t exactly a bad way for this bizarre day to end. Before sleep overtakes him completely, he thinks he heard Thor whispering,

“Goodnight, Loki.”

 

When he wakes up in the morning, head pressed against his brother’s chest, Loki doesn’t know whether to be worried or relieved as he listened to Thor’s steady heartbeat.

They meet Heimdall at breakfast later, and fills him in on the situation regarding Thanos. But when the Gatekeeper looks for the Mad Titan with his all-seeing eyes, nothing prepared them for his discovery.

 “The Titan is dead.”

**Author's Note:**

> The main pairing is Thor/Loki, but the other tagged ships will show up in time. Ratings will also change down the line.  
> Please leave any questions/comments/thoughts down below. I'd love to know what you think.


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